There are a few 'shocking toy' lists floating round the interwebs. Initially I was just going to link to another one of these lists, but I found that most of them included toys along the lines of the breastfeeding doll (which... Gasp! might encourage your child to imitate breastfeeding - quick, stop them, they might learn that breasts have a non-sexual, nurturing function) or a cleaning set (which... OMG! Might encourage your child to clean) etc. The fact that so many people are up in arms over children having toys which depict normal, healthy activities that most children probably see every day is probably even more disturbing than the following list.
Although this list is pretty disturbing...
12. Adolf Hitler Doll
Comes with removable Nazi uniform.
11. Aqua Dots
They look innocuous enough. You wet them and they stick together so you can make exciting pixellated pictures. Only problem is that if you swallow them the chemical coating on the beads turns into the date rape drug gamma hydroxyl butyrate, which can induce seizures, unconsciousness, coma and death.
10. The ‘Laugh A Lot’ Doll
Creepy, no? Otherwise known as ‘Chucky’s Psycho Younger Sister’.
Apparently laughs with maniacal hysterical laughter.
9. Pee and Poo
I mean, I know we’ll be doing toilet training in the near future, but this is one step too far for me.
8. Little Red Riding Hood
I don’t know what version of Little Red Riding Hood this is, but probably not one sold outside of SexyLand.
7. Childbirth Barbie
6. The Sunburnt Village People Doll
This doll raises more questions than it answers… like: Why is he sunburnt? And why is there a sad face on his chest? Unlike some of the others in this list, it’s not creepy and weird. I just can’t stop wondering: why?
5. You Can Shave the Baby
Apparently this doll was a work of subversive art from the 1960s, not for realz. Thank god.
4. Aspirational T-Shirt
*Sob* I’d be so proud.
3. An Epidermit
This doesn’t just look odd, it is actually made out of genetically engineered human flesh. Like any other toy made from human flesh, you need to store it in the refrigerator.
2. Russian Roulette Game
1. Stripper Doll
Style! Interesting! Music! Flash! Up and Down! Go Round and Round!